What if it's not a money issue...
but a self-worth one?
Time for some real talk again, friends.
I’ve noticed this (to me) massive mindset shift over the past few months and I think it’s such an important one, which is why I want to tell you about it. I’m honestly not proud of where I’m coming from with this and a little embarrassed, but I am proud of where I’m at now, having finally understood this.
Only took me 30 years… 😅. Perhaps I can save you some time if you can relate.
Until recently, I found myself easily spending €100 a month on things like coffee, cake, a drink. Not just in social settings, mainly just for myself. But then not allowing myself, for example, a €12 yoga class.
Now the thing is: I didn’t really have money for either.
But this is what was going on inside of me: I was justifying these “little treats” because my life felt so challenging. I was struggling in so many areas of life, I wasn’t making enough money to cover my costs, and these treats were micro comforts.
Quick fixes. A pain au chocolate in the afternoon would make my day. My housemate and I actually had this phase of “emotional support croissants”. 🤣
Deep down though, I was in survival mode. I was searching for relief in any way possible, which also included partying, as a matter of fact.
The shift: self-soothing vs. self-care
And then it clicked one day: this wasn’t self-care, this was self-soothing. And real investments, like perhaps therapy, a yoga class, a certain book or a programme, felt unjustifiable.
Why? Because they required real self-worth, which I didn’t have. Those kinds of investments meant choosing me, putting myself first, filling my cup up, prioritising my overall well-being over everything else.
But who would I be to do that???
Thankfully, and I truly mean this, I got to such a low point it felt like it didn’t really matter. I might as well give it a try.
So I started to rethink what value really means to me.
I started making decisions from a place of worth instead of a place of lack. I started making decisions on how I spend my time, money and energy in alignment with myself, my well-being and my long-term vision for myself.
Now, my thought process looks a little more like this: I’ll go out for coffee and drinks less, because I could use that money for a course to learn a new skill, which I can use to attract new work and make more money, and eventually going out for a coffee won’t be such a big deal anymore.
Although I do think I will always appreciate it and be grateful for the resources, because it’s by all means no given, as I’ve come to experience.
I no longer feel the need to justify choosing myself, be it by investing money in my growth and healing, by choosing a cosy night in over a party night out, by choosing to remove myself from certain situations if I feel like it’s draining my energy a little too much. Because I know that I’m worth it!
Now it’s your turn: what are things that you think you can’t afford, but might actually be the most valuable investments in your growth and well-being?
Hi, I’m Caitlin and this is my little space to share my story, thoughts and learnings. There is so much to unpack, still to discover, and I want to take you on that journey with me. Because everything is a little more fun when experienced together 🧡.